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Thursday, March 11, 2010 -{'10:43 PM
sometimes i`m wondering . am i asking or expecting too much frm you . i dun0o wad happen to me . but i just feel so freaking stress and sad . last time you say you no time . cos needa study . nvm . cos exam . i understand . now exam over . you slack . watch tv . so much time and you just cant spend alittle time just to upload our photos online . is this too much ? i nva ask for anything tat cant be done . i just want you to care more for our relationship tats all . but it seems tat you care more for your friends den me . you can stress yourself whole day of even few days cos of your friends . but wad about me ? did you think of me ? i`m so freaking tired and stress cos of my fucking army . i`ve been thinking almost everynight . why are you like tat . this is the freaking 2nd post of the YEAR . wtf right . you didnt even care to upload my blog . i feel so hurt ... now i`m thinking weither do you really love me . or you are just use to be with me tats all . you can so easily ask me for something which you will nva nva do tat to me in the past . wad you wan i`ll give you for sure but now . you seems to be asking more things frm me den eva . i told you b4 . i`m not a rich kid . i cant get many things for you . just now when you said you wana LV wallet for mummy`s present . i was so fucking shock . even when i noe you are joking . i was so shock . cos it seems like you are demanding for more den before . i already dun mind spending more den half of my pay for your itouch . even when i noe i`ll be like shit during month end . but for you . i dun mind doing anythin . i just hope tat we can stay together during the weekends or when i`m out of camp . you are already 19 and you dun dare to try . dun you wanna stay with me ? be with me ? you always said mummy is a strick mother . but to me . i noe tat even if she is so strick . she do have a heart and she will understand if you really tell her . bout us . like wad we done cos i believe tat . tat will make her noe more bout me she will willing to let you stay with me and not worrying . but to you . you dun care . you only believe on wad you think . den wad about me ? wadever i say you dun believe . remember wad i said bout your friend ? you quarrel with me cos of your friends . shout at me cos of them and in the end wad happen ?! they fucking betrayed you . do you noe how hurt was i when we were quarreling ?
i bet you dun0o . cos all along your friends was more important den me . many things came to my mind everynight b4 i slp . i miss you so much everynight . but you are just playing computer . online shopping and watch tv . so many time for you to upload our photos online and you choose not to do so . till i ask you to do den you do . but in the end you only uploaded 3 photos ... wa you noe when i saw my facebook how piss off was i ? and when i asked you on msn you can just tell me tat you got no time and you are watching tv . i`ve tried my best to be a good boyfriend . but why cant you try your best too ? is it very hard to tell mummy tat you are staying at your bf house when you are already 18+ ? is tat so hard to spent sometime to do something for us ? you are always thinking tat i still miss my ex . but i already said so many freaking times tat i only have you and i only love you . cant you just believe me and trust me ?
i did so much for you still cant prove how much i love you ? wad else you wan ?! hais .
everytime . i need to use force to get you do things tat you dun wanna do . and everytime i force you . are things tat are good for you . and also good for our relationships . i just dun understand why other couple even those tat are younger den us . having even more strick parents den us can do tat and why you cant . if theres god i really hope tat he can just freaking treat me fair . tats all . everything happening to me are so fucking unfair . sometime i feel like stopping our relationship and see if you will really come back to me . and let our fate decide . i noe i cant do it . cos i cant bare to hurt you . i love you . i always joke bout me getting hurt during my detail . its cos i wanna noe how much you really care for me . cos when you care for me . i realise tat . you really love me so much and i feel so happy and warm . i wan to hug you everyday when i slp but i noe i cant . dude to army . but when i book out ? why cant it happen ? and i`m sure tat it can be happen . its just weither do you wan or not . mummy already agree on your relationship and she should noe and be fair to both you and me . i always ask you to talk to her . you dun wan . scared tat she will nag . but think back on last time . when you told mummy you had a bf . she did nag but in the end she still let . is being with me so hard ? or am i asking too much . you always say you wan to face everything with me . but infact i`m the only one facing it and you are just running away frm it . hais . theres so much for me to say in my heart ... i dun wanna say anymore . cos it will just get the scar on my heart bigger .
feeling so sad and stress now ... fuck up life .
